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Counterproductive

by Health Problems

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1.
Androgyny 00:55
Man or woman Androgyny What do you see in me
2.
Gullible 01:32
Jurisdiction Authority Laugh at me Or take a breath Or take a sigh Choose your side I’m falling for it I’m falling down Fit to shape Or fit to standard Compensate to tolerate Shape me what you want to be And then you’ll see Fit me Shape me what you want to be, and then you’ll see what you to see Fit to shape Or fit to standard Compensate to tolerate I’m falling for it I’m falling down I’m gullible Fit to shape to compensate
3.
A kick in the teeth Or a verbal assault Looking for difference Or looking for faults A knife to the throat A gun to the head Speaking like pistols with a mouthful of lead I’ve had enough of your acting tough Yeah, I’m so queer man I’m such a “faggot” And you are such a man That you can’t even manage Speaking in tongues With your ignorant bliss Your entire existence Is worth less than piss Yeah, I’m so queer man I’m such a “faggot” And you are such a man That you can’t even manage Your entire existence Is worth less than piss
4.
Mr. Man 06:11
He was incompetent because he could not bench press as much as his cohorts and peers. John was strong. He was a particularly fit individual. Beautiful and attractive: Even regarded by his fellow classmates for being so incredibly unique. But he just wasn't enough. He just didn't have the muscles. And if he didn't have the muscles, he probably didn’t have the dick. And if he didn’t have the dick, he probably wasn’t a man at all. But if he wasn’t a man, what was he? Some kind of "pussy"? Some kind of "bitch"? Some kind of "little girl"? Or "wimp"? Or "woos"? He was just incompetent. He just wasn’t enough. John spent many hours, lying under his plush cotton covers, that swaddled his bed and his body. That lay in his room, that was in his parents three or four bedroom, twenty five year mortgage plan suburban home. John’s father started to notice a change in his son’s attitude, and felt that his recent submission to detrimental emotion was a sign of his weakness. John felt that his father’s point of view was so similar to every one of his schoolmates. “I can’t take it” One day, john had had enough. He couldn't take it anymore. He was fed up with the self-loathing, self-torture, and harsh judgment of his father and friends. John started to have violent feelings and decided to carry them out with rash actions. So he got out of his bed, and walked out of his room, and walked on down the hall. When he reached his father’s gun closet, he quietly cracked the door, and pulled out his father’s well-polished, well-cared for, nine millimeter pistol. John had tasted gun powder for the first and last time. He was dead.
5.
Boy Problems 03:25
How now brown cow, I’ve been singing nursery rhymes for a while Screeching boredom, or shooting the bullshit Growing old, or just being a kid I can’t break my baby body I’m over pimples and puberty, but whining where this life has left me Box cereal Saturday morning Mom and Dad always gave me warning I don’t want to grow up Be a man Or cry like a baby An ignorant boy In a mature body The stuff of life is the stress of growing Wah, wah, wah. I can’t be a man I’m only a baby An ignorant boy In a mature body If the stuff of life is the stress of growing, Please tell my hormones to quit their moaning I don’t want to grow up I don’t want to stop hanging out with friends and going to parties All night sleep-overs and Friday night pizza I’m not ready to pay rent Go to work Be Mature And deal with women I just want to be a kid I don’t want to grow up I’m not ready to be mature I’m a childish boy
6.
Mundane 04:59
I went shopping on the weekend That was my weekend I drank my carbonated energy drink before I went to work That was my morning I watched PBS before I went to sleep That was my evening I was born And I grew up I went to school I got a college degree I got married I had three children I put them all through school I retired at age fifty five Just as according to plan And I died And all of my extended family came to my funeral I am the demand That was my story Mundane Monotony
7.
My average looking wife tells me I spend too much time at the office My average intelligent children, they tell me “pops” you spend too much time at the office So the other day, we gathered ‘round the table for dinner: I made a proposal So I lit up their faces, and I lit up my pocket book- said we are going on a vacation We could spend awhile on a sandy beach island Pour out the bank account in glutinous fashion “Whats that? Room service? Just put that on my tab I will pay for it later… American Express” “Oh honey, I love you. It’s so wonderful to be spending so much time with the kids as a family in such a warm climate with all these material goods and services around us” Five star hotel Continental breakfast Beautiful view Vacation has got me hooked I’m savior dad Hero of husbands It’s easy to play God When you’re a father with a checkbook How could I ever want to leave this place When everything pleasurable is right in my face As much as I hate it, and I don’t want to say I’ll be working overtime in a couple of days I’m sorry children. I’m sorry wife. I’m sorry we can’t live like this for the rest of our lives. Pack your bags, catch the flight. We’ve had our fill of vacation time.

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released August 1, 2013

Recorded by Capt. Trips Ballzington in Olympia, WA Feb. 2013
Originally released on Hanged Man Recordings
Re-released on Trench Art Recordings

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Health Problems Seattle, Washington

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